Am I Doing a Good Job?

Am I doing a good job?

I ask myself this when my daughter pulls the cat’s tail or is rough with her little brother. When we grab fast food more often than I’d like to admit. When the laundry is overflowing, or worse, strewn across the floor. When I can’t remember the last time I scrubbed the tubs. When the baby is whiny and clingy and I get frustrated. Every time I yell.

I definitely asked myself this when the pediatrician told me that our little cardiac baby has fallen off his growth curve and isn’t even on the damn chart any more.

And when I see photos of kids I know on Facebook or Instagram, seemingly sitting quietly, engaged in some elaborate parent-made activity. When I hear that my friend’s three-month old baby is sleeping through the night, while my one-year old has yet to reach this milestone.

When the days are long and it’s hard to see past the mess. Hard to be thankful or find any joy. When things are just hard.

If my husband takes the kids to the grocery store, he is basically hailed a hero. Seriously, nice older ladies often stop to tell him how cute the kids are and that he’s doing a great job. When I take them out, I wonder if anyone will notice (or heaven forbid, comment on) the baby’s bare feet or the fact that the three year-old didn’t want to wear a coat. Us moms don’t get a lot of “atta boys.” It’s an expectation that we will be good at this. And even when we are, we don’t hear it.

So I ask myself, am I doing a good job? Sometimes I think I’m absolutely killing it. Sometimes I wonder if I would pass the application process to adopt a dog. Most of the time I honestly don’t know. I promise I’m not digging for compliments or even reassurance. But I figured I couldn’t be the only one asking myself this question. And not always knowing the answer.

So I’d like to challenge you to stop for a minute and send a parent you know a text. Or tag them. Tell them that they’re doing a good job. That’s all. It will take ten seconds. And I promise it will mean the world.