Cutting Through Clutter: Q+A with Melissa from Simple Lionheart Life

Things got pretty out of control here after Christmas. We ordered a sectional from Costco, and it came in three huge boxes. I’m an indecisive person so I wasn’t sure if we should keep it and hung onto the boxes (for the record, my husband was very much not on board with disassembling the sectional and returning it). Then I did some “I’m sad” Boxing Day shopping online. Same thing. Does it fit? Do I really like it? Do I actually need it (pretty much always a no). How much of a hassle is it to return? So there were boxes everywhere. There was packing material. Baby stuff. Old toys. New toys and clothes from Christmas. I felt like I was drowning in stuff.

So I reached out to Melissa of Simple Lionheart Life. Melissa is a fellow blogger from Wainwright. She is a stay-at-home mom, who describes herself as a creative introvert. Her blog focuses on simple and intentional living by getting rid of the excess in our lives. We talk about cutting through clutter and “Monica closets” below.

How did you find minimalism and organization? Was it a big shift in your life or were you always on the organized side?

My simplifying journey didn’t begin by intentionally setting out to pursue a minimalist lifestyle. Instead, it started from a place of feeling completely overwhelmed as a new mom. 

When my daughter was a young toddler, she was very curious and started getting into everything. Although I’ve always been fairly organized, I had A LOT of stuff. It was all neatly organized, but filled every available cupboard, closet and space in our home. And my daughter made it her life’s mission to explore all of it!

I quickly started getting very tired and frustrated of wasting so much time, energy and patience picking up the same stuff day in and day out after my daughter got into it. Eventually it dawned on me that we didn’t even use, need or like most of the “stuff” I was spending so much of my day picking up.

This lightbulb moment led me to start totally decluttering our house, getting rid of anything I could find that we didn’t use, need or love. 

“I had more time, more energy, more patience, could be more present and felt less stressed.”

The more I decluttered, the better I felt. 

I immediately noticed I had more time, more energy, more patience, could be more present and felt less stressed overall the more “stuff” I removed from our house. I even noticed we had more financial freedom to put our money towards our priorities when we stopped buying so much stuff! 

I truly didn’t realize what a burden the stuff we owned added to my life, until I started experiencing life with so much less of it.

Eventually, as I sought out more information about decluttering and how to do it better, I was introduced to the idea of minimalism. And I knew it was a lifestyle I wanted to pursue.

I can definitely relate to that! My daughter is three and one of her favourite ways to play is putting things (toys, household items, whatever) into bags/boxes and hauling them around the house. I am definitely not a minimalist, but I’m interested in simplifying. Do you consider yourself to be a minimalist?

I do, although “minimalist” isn’t a term I use a whole lot.

Minimalism is more about why we own what we do.

I’ve found the word “minimalism” carries so many preconceived ideas and assumptions that it can easily lead people to assume you live in a stark, cold and all white house.

Minimalism, for me, is more about why we own what we do instead of what we own, how much we own or what our home décor style is. 

It’s about removing the clutter, the excess and the distractions so we have more time, space and energy to focus on what matters most to us. And that can vary a lot from person to person, depending on what your values, lifestyle and priorities are. 

They say everyone has one area in their home that gets out of control. Remember that Friends episode “The One With the Secret Closet?” Do you have a space that turns into Monica’s closet? Mine are the junk drawer, the pantry, and the bathroom cupboard (and my jewelry and make-up, but who’s counting)?

I love Friends and my sister and I often joke about Monica Closets because it’s so easy to find yourself with your own Monica closet!

Right now, we live in a house with a lot of storage space. And storage space can be both a blessing and a curse! The more storage space you have, the easier it is to accumulate more “stuff” than you need or want. Simply because you have the space to keep it and can avoid dealing with it.

Our window-less, outdated basement has been our Monica Closet in the past. It was a rarely used space where it was easy to put things we didn’t use or love, but weren’t sure what to do with yet. Last year we cleaned it out and painted it – just in time for my husband to start working from home thanks to Covid!

Now it’s a space that’s used daily, so it definitely can’t be a Monica Closet anymore. But it’s still my weakness and something I have to check in on regularly or anytime I find myself avoiding making decisions about something and putting it in the basement!

Anytime I notice a space starting to feel like a Monica Closet – whether it’s accumulating too much stuff, or just getting unorganized and chaotic, I take it as a sign that space needs a little love. Maybe it needs a good clean out to get rid of any clutter that’s accumulated. Or maybe it needs a better system to keep it functional and organized. 

I like to give every space in our home a specific purpose. When we have catch-all spaces, I find that’s when they tend to get out of control. Defining the space and its purpose is a great way to avoid ending up with a clutter catch-all or a Monica Closet!

I also like things organized, but I have too much stuff and it easily becomes chaotic. What is the best argument for getting rid of stuff, rather than organizing the stuff you have?

Remind yourself that everything you choose to keep in your home takes up some of your time, energy and attention.

“Everything you choose to keep in your home takes up some of your time, energy and attention.”

Organized clutter is still clutter. And it won’t be long before it makes its way out of your organized spot and is stealing time, space and energy from you.

Notice what you’re spending your time cleaning, cleaning around, picking up, organizing, reorganizing, putting away, etc. and ask yourself if it’s adding enough value to your life to justify the time, space and energy it’s taking from you?

Remind yourself that if organizing worked to simplify your home and solve your clutter problem, it wouldn’t still be a problem. Try getting rid of the things you don’t use, need or love and notice how much easier it becomes to manage and maintain a tidier, more organized home.

I still catch myself trying to organize when I need to declutter sometimes. It helps me to remind myself the goal is to clear the clutter, not see how much I can fit in a space by organizing it.

You recommend having a decluttering plan. What might the plan look like?

A decluttering plan is so important. It’s easy to start decluttering excited and motivated to clear the clutter. But decluttering is a lot of work. Definitely worth the work – but still a lot of work. And it can be easy to lose some of your motivation and excitement in the midst of the process.

A decluttering plan not only helps you stay on track and more consistent with your decluttering efforts. But it’s also a great way to address some of the most common decluttering stumbling blocks ahead of time so they won’t impede your progress as you do the decluttering work.

Have a clear “why”

Your plan should address things like why you’re decluttering. Having a clear “why” to fall back on is a great way to remind yourself of what you want to achieve, even when your motivation is running low.

It’s a great place to figure out what you’ll do with the stuff you’re getting rid of so it doesn’t sit around your house too long continuing to add clutter. Or worse yet, get spread back out in the house un-doing all of your hard work!

Deciding when you’ll declutter is an important part of your plan too. It’s really easy to put off decluttering if you don’t have a plan for when you’ll do the work.

You can also plan what spaces you want to declutter and in what order. Making it easier to dive in and get to work, rather than wasting time and energy figuring out where to declutter. Or bouncing from one spot to the next, but not making consistent progress anywhere.

You can head to my website HERE and sign up for a free decluttering workbook to make your personalized decluttering plan, including all the points listed here!

I have definitely started filling a box and ended up with it re-distributed all over the house again. Where do you recommend people start if they are really overwhelmed?

Somewhere small and easy.

If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, trying to tackle a huge space or a really difficult place to declutter is probably only going to lead to frustration, burn out and defeat.

But when you start in a smaller, easier place to declutter, you can make progress and see the results of your efforts right away. It gets you started and gives you a “win” to motivate you to keep going.

Choosing somewhere you can make more logical, and less emotional, decluttering decisions is important so you can start with some easier decluttering work too.

I always recommend starting in more utilitarian spaces if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Some great examples are the bathroom, a coat closet, your pantry, a kitchen cupboard or drawer, your sock drawer, etc.

Focus on a small, utilitarian space where you can make easier decluttering decisions. Then, once you get started, it’s usually easier to keep going and tackle the next space.

Do you recommend decluttering room by room or by categories?

I don’t think one is necessarily better than the other. It depends what makes the most sense for you, the way you think, your lifestyle, your home, the time you have available, etc.

For example, if you only have a few spare minutes a day to devote to decluttering, it might not make sense to declutter by category. By the time you gather all items in that category, you might be out of time but left with a big mess in the meantime. 

Decluttering one room at a time, and one small step at a time within that space, might work better in this case. For example, decluttering your kitchen, one drawer or cupboard at a time.

But if seeing every item you own in each category from all over the house makes it easier to be more ruthless in your decluttering decisions, decluttering by category might be a good choice for you.

Figure out what works best and makes the most sense for you, rather than following what works best for someone else.

I think I am definitely a one room at a time person. Can you identify a space or category that might have the most “bang for your buck”?

Again, I think this varies by person.

But I always recommend looking at what space or category adds the most stress to your life right now. Simplifying and decluttering that space or category will likely have a significant impact on your life, saving you’re a lot of time, energy and frustration.

For example, if getting dressed for the day always leaves you stressed, frustrated and feeling bad about your body, try decluttering your closet. Removing the clutter, the clothes you don’t love, clothes that don’t fit, etc. can help make getting dressed a more pleasant experience and have a huge positive impact on your life.

Or if your kitchen is always a mess and you feel like you can never keep up with it, never have space to cook and are drowning in dirty dishes, try simplifying it. Removing the excess and the clutter from your kitchen makes cooking, cleaning up and enjoying your meals a lot easier and will give you a big bang for your buck!

Any tips for all or nothing people? I tend to pull everything out and get started but lose momentum. Then back it goes until I’m feeling motivated again.

You can continue using this method, just on a smaller scale. 

Instead of emptying an entire closet, work on one shelf or section at a time. In your kitchen or bathroom work on one drawer, one basket, one cupboard, etc. at a time rather than trying to tackle a big space all at once.

Work with this tendency, but work at a scale that’s realistic for your typical time and motivation levels. If you’re still feeling motivated after tackling one small space, you can tackle another. But if you’re not, you won’t be left with a bigger mess than you started with or feel defeated that you’re not making more progress. 

I’m happy to hear that I can continue with my all or nothing strategy on a smaller scale! How can I convince myself to get rid of things that I’m holding onto “just in case” I might need them later?

“Just in case” can be one of the biggest hurdles when it comes to decluttering. 

Would you even remember or be able to find the item if you needed it?

My favourite way to tackle “just in case” fears is by thinking them through logically and realistically. Ask yourself how often your “just in case” scenario happens (if it ever has)? Is there something else you could use instead? Would you even remember or be able to find the item if it did happen? Could you borrow it? If you absolutely had to repurchase something you decluttered, how would that feel?

And finally, the most helpful question you can ask yourself is what’s more important to you: Being prepared for every possible “just in case” or “what if” that may or may not happen at some unknown point in the future? Or clearing the clutter from your home now and creating a home that takes less time, space and energy from you today?

How do your kids and spouse react to a minimalist household? Any tips for getting family members on board?

My kids have grown up in a simplified house, so for the most part it’s all they know! They do seem to appreciate how much easier our home is to maintain when there’s less stuff. Like most kids, they love to play but don’t love cleaning up. So they understand and appreciate that it’s a lot easier to clean up when there’s less stuff.

My husband has always been more of a minimalist and is very easy going in general, so he happily goes along with this lifestyle. 

“Start with your own stuff.”

The biggest thing I recommend when trying to get your family on board is not forcing them to join in. Instead, start with your own stuff. Declutter and simplify what belongs just to you and lead by example.

Nagging, forcing or getting rid of other people’s stuff without their consent usually ends up making them hold on to it tighter. 

Instead, tackle your own stuff first. Explain what you’re doing and why. Share the benefits of the changes you’re making. But don’t pressure, nag or force your family to join in right away. You just might inspire your family to start simplifying with you. But even if they don’t get on board, you’ll have made your life easier by tackling your stuff.

Where can readers find you and follow you for inspiration?

Readers can check out my blog for lots of decluttering and simplifying inspiration, encouragement and practical how-tos.

And they can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, in my private Facebook group and on Pinterest.

Thank you so much, Melissa, for taking the time to answer my questions! I have a lot of little projects to work on. Maybe I’ll share some on the blog. And Jon will be very happy to see those sectional boxes hit the recycling!